Prior to the week of going on this trip God started to work in my heart. For some reason I was able to grasp just a bit of God's goodness. One day during school I always get there about an hour early to go pray for the students and staff, but that day was different as I went into the prayer room God started to reveal all of His goodness to me. I've realized that I am just a sinful person and will always be. Even though, I am a sinful person God still loves me and blesses me beyond what I could ask for. I remember that day 2 of my brothers were in the prayer room with me and I just remember crying and and poring my heart out on how good God is to us. He was already at work in restoring my heart, so that instead of choosing sorrow I would chose His grace.
As we got on the road Monday morning to head up to Romona, CA all I could think of was how God had a beautiful week full of his glory planned for all of us. I had no expectations and went with an open heart to learn and grow. I was hungry for more of God! As we got into the 8hr lessons God was revealing that he had been preparing my heart for the message a week before. Everyday I was in awe of who our God is.
The first day I learned about Nehemiah's heart for the Jews. He had a heart for people he did not even know. He put others before him and was a selfless man. He had a huge burden in His heart for them. Then there was a question Who do you ask questions about? because that is what truly reveals what is in your heart! What do you pray for? Your future house, wife, car, ect...? God has called us for a greater work! Sometimes we are so consumed on what we think is right and better for us that we lose sight in what God has for us. God is faithful and we should trust him. He will do things for you that you can not do. He did not create you for what you were not meant to be.
The second day I learned about how the Jews for so many year lived in captivity. They remained captive in their minds and lack of boundaries in their lives. There are areas in our lives that we need to set boundaries and put gates. Because there is some of us that walls have been burned down. The jews lived in a captivity mind set as many of us do. We forget who our God is! Then we start to get bitter and our hearts are hardened. The heart that is critical is already in bondage because they are critical they judge.
If you are a critical person it reveals you are in bondage. If you are trash talking God’s people you are trash talking God. Do you trust God with your reputation? If you respond to criticism you are in bondage of your mind.You have to be ruthless with yourself about the truth. We all perceive ourselves different then other people see us. That brought conviction to my heart because there is times when I can get prideful and I start to get critical of my family who are not Christians. It shook my cup!
The third day I learned who I am in Christ and where I fit into this community of believers. I am not speaking with pride, but humbleness that God has gifted me in so many ways. I have finally been able to realize that this week. He is a giving God, even though I don't deserve any of what he has given me it shows me how big his love is for me. Here are the spiritual gifts God has given me: Exhortation, Leadership, Prophecy, Apostleship, Faith, Words of Knowledge, Tongues, Evangelism, Shepherding, Craftsmanship, Discerning of spirits, Mercy. Those who have been given much are responsible of much and I have realized that God has given me a great responsibility. I am not saying that you have to have many gifts to be highly look at or better because we are all one part of one body and we all must work together. We can't work one without the other. We are all responsible to know our gifts and how we fit into the community of believers. We must put all of our gifts to work because that is why God has blessed us with those so we could bring kingdom here on earth. We must be generous with our gifts and always give the best to the community of believers. What are your gifts?
Lastly, learning to have a thankful heart and knowing that God is enough. The main response to revival that you have a generous heart. That you are dedicated to purity. That you are dedicated to purity and sacrifice. There are store rooms that represent the chambers of your inner heart we store stuff that we worship God with. I can be carnal and still expect God to be good in my life.What are the worldly vessels clogging your heart that need to be thrown out? God brings the things that need to be there in your heart. You need to bring back what fuels your worship with God. What are the things that fuel your heart? Thankfulness, meditation, thinking about God’s goodness, mercy, and grace! What we need to do is bring the aroma of thankfulness into our hearts.
God has taught me so much through this journey and hope it was a blessing to you all! Love you!
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