The next day my friend and I decided to attend and earlier service at church and during worship I felt the holy spirit all over that place! Being in God's presence is always something wonderful. As I praised God, the holy spirit spoke "I TOLD YOU TO GO TO THE PHILIPPINES!" It was so loud and clear that it shook me and I started to shake and cry. I was convicted that I was being disobedient. All I could ask is "why?" So the next day I signed up and got accepted to go.
A week later I get a call from one of the staff asking if I was going to pay the application fee to go. That meant I really had to commit, ahhh! No bueno! I told her I was going to pray about it some more because I was not sure God was sending me. Then I told her the story how the holy spirit had been telling me that I needed to sign up. Then she said "well there you. that is God calling you!" Then she asked me what is stopping me? I said my finances. Then she told me about people stepping out in faith and all I could do was cry.
I have seen God work in my life and in others, but still I doubted. I was lacking faith! I got on my knees that day and asked God to give me FAITH! I realized that everyday I have not been walking in faith and that I was disabling God from showing who He really is.
How could I go into the missions field not being confident in who my God is? In this season God is teaching me how to walk in faith everyday. He wants to show me His power and what he can do when I walk in faith.
I remember telling God when he revealed this to me "you are going to make me a crazy lady!" I will be a crazy women for Jesus and I don't care what people say I don't want to fear men no more! "For God did not make us with a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7. Even if I may not go to the Philippines I know I did what God told me to do. I am walking in faith and being obedient. He is growing me through this and I know I am doing the right thing.
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6. There is nothing we can do to please God, but only by waking in faith. For me this is a season of trusting God and being obedient which leads to walking in FAITH. How are you walking in faith? It does not mean you have to leave everything behind, but in ways of giving up comforts, stepping out to talk to someone about God, in giving finances, etc... Seek Him with all of your heart and you will find him.
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