You're the God of this city...

I arrived in Jenotepe, Nicaragua 3 days ago and I feel like I have been here for a month already. I have enjoyed these three days of making lots of new friends. Right now I am working with a church ministry. I am living with my friend Rachel and the pastors of the church family. I am very blessed to be surrounded around so many Godly people.

I really don't know where to start... There has been so much going on that I really can't start telling you how amazing it is here. In my whole life I have never seen so many people starving in Central America. Nicaragua reminds me of Africa, but with Latinos. It is considered the 2nd poorest in the western hemisphere, Haiti is number 1. My heart breaks for the people here in every way.

Yesterday, as I walked into one of the barrios (small village) I felt darkness and spiritual warfare. My heart just stopped and it skipped a breath. I felt the darkness that the people live in. As I started to walk away to the streets I started to worship God singing "you're the God of this City" I started to pray for the village. I raised my hands up to Jesus to break the chains of drugs, alcohol, depression, suicide, and violence! People were just staring at me like I was a crazy lady! hahahaha... I am a crazy lady for JESUS!

Nicaragua is a broken country. It thirst for Jesus. I can tell you that 75% of families here don't grow up in a home with a father, and if they do their father beats up the the mother for drugs or alcohol. This is a country of the fatherless, but you know what? God is their Father! He loves them more then I could ever love them.

Today I was able to spend time with a very special family that has stolen my heart. God blessed me with a few extra dollars that I was able to take them out to a restaurant for the first time. I told them that they could order anything they wanted and they all screamed with a cheer of JOY. As we finished our meal the mom told me thank you and that this was the first meal that they have eaten in 3 days.I can't imagine going hungry for 3 days. This family grew up in an abusive home and one of the children were sexually molested... My heart just hurts!!!!!

Why do we still stand there and let this happen? We go on with our normal lives and live the same way that we are comfortable with. You might read this story and say "wow this is sad" then go back to the same way you are living. Why if this was your family? your child? We are children of God. These are God children!

Please lift up Nicaragua up in prayer and for my time here. Thank you for reading this and for being part of this journey with me.

Who am I?

Who am I? I am a child of God, chosen, loved, beautiful, creative, missionary, etc... God has made each one of us unique. He has blessed us with so many gifts! But there is times in our lives we ask, who am I? We forget... We forget that God has made each one of us unique. Most of all that our identity is found in HIM alone. But with that said, why do we keep wondering who you are?

We get consumed in our daily routine of work, priorities, and materialism that we forget why we are here and why we are still breathing. God can take your life by a snap of a finger! I know that might sound threatening or who dose God think he is? He is our creator! He has given you another day to live. You are chosen to be on this earth in this moment and time. But the question is, who are you living for? What are you living for? things? riches? friends? family? etc... You might be saying to yourself, but family is important! But they are not more important then God! God created them and I can bet you a hundred dollars that God loves them more then you could ever love them.

Where am I trying to get here? Well, that everyday should be a sacrifice to God! A worship! A praise! Laying down your life for others! Loving like Jesus did! It really is about bringing KINGDOM to those around us. EVERYDAY! Everyday is a gift of God! As a missionary I have learned that no matter where I am at I must LOVE like Jesus. I must lay down my life for my brothers and sisters. We are all God's children. He loves us no different then the poor man or child dying in Africa of AIDS. Here is a challenge "if God truly lives in you, then you have His heart." Meaning God's love lives in you and you see with His eyes. If not I pray that God will open the eyes of your heart and let you see. Sometimes we truly are the blind because we are to scared to truly see what is beyond what we can comprehend. But God has put His hands upon your eyes to SEE.

In four weeks I will be in Nicaragua. I have no idea what God has for me there. All I know is that I have a plane ticket and no money for food or a place to stay. But, I fully trust that God will provide while I am  in Nicaragua or even here before I leave. One inspiration for me is these 2 guys I met in Guatemala last year. They took no money and just a back pack. They went out and stepped out in faith and trusted God that he would provide. They had some rough times out there eating out of trash cans, etc... They let God take control of everything and you know?  God provided. At the end of the trip they ended up with $1000 in different currencies. God is AMAZING!!

I want to change the WORLD!

"I want to change the world" those were the words in my mouth when I woke up this morning. But, there is a quote that says, "you have to be the change you want to see in the world." That hit me, how am I being the change? I am living the American life consuming every product I see and can get my hands on. I am living a life of luxury. I can say pretty much on average I spend over $200 a week on stuff and going out. Wow, that is ridiculous if you look at it! When there is people out in this world living on less then one dollar a day. 

I remember while my last missions trip I was living on $2 a say not including lodging. I was living off bread and Top Ramen. That was the life! hahaha... (not really). I got to live with the poor and live out of a molded tent with termite holes all over it! Then I come back and I have a nice room and bed to sleep in. I am not saying it is bad, but sometimes I have to be more grateful for what I have. I seem to just adapt back into my old habits. 

As I sit outside in my Guatemalan hammock  drinking some Guatemalan coffee. I start to pray to God how can I be that change. How can I live it out in America while I am here in the States? Then a song from Hillsong come up "lead me to the cross." It talks about carrying your cross, laying down your life, and leaving everything behind. That hit me hard! I want to carry that cross and leave everything behind! I want to be that for you Lord everyday of my life! So, I have decided to live on $2 a day until I leave to Guatemala. I know this is going to be one of the biggest challenges for me. I am a shopper. I have always been my whole life. This will not include Gas (I have to get to work hahaha...). Every extra cent will go towards my missions trip to Guatemala. Also, helping other missionary's if I have the extra funds.

 

If any of you would like to join me in doing this let me know. This could be an amazing challenge for you too. I challenge you to think of the quote I gave you "you have to be the change you want to see in the world." How can you be that here and now? 

I pray that God will fill you up with his love. His unfailing love and hope everyday! You are God's children made perfect. You are meant to do great things! Here and now! Not later!! How can you stand up to that calling! God believes in you! I believe in you! Come on brothers and sister! You are a world  changer! Changing the world doe not mean the whole world. It could mean here in you community! So step out and don't be afraid! Stop living it SAFE!! You were not meant to live it safe but be a radical because you know JESUS!! 

Faith is all I Have

Faith is all I have to tell you the truth. There is somedays in my life where I want to give up and just forget about doing missions work. I don't even know if I could go back to the transition of being in another country and then coming back to America to start my life over again. I am not sure if my heart will be able to take the pain any more of the trials and spiritual warfare that goes on. I don't know if I still have that love to love those that don't love me back. My heart just hurts thinking about it. I say to myself am I ready for another heartbreak? I just don't know sometimes... Then I start to doubt what God has promised me and his plans. I don't think I am strong enough to do this anymore. Maybe I should just give up on theses dreams. 

I know these are some things we all go through day to day. We doubt what God can truly do in us through his power and love. We think we are to weak or unworthy of the plans that He has set out for us and we are! But he gives it to us any ways because of his grace and love for us. I know God can use me but sometimes I just doubt that. Sometimes I just don't want to go there because I am too scared or I know it will be too hard. Yes, living a Christian live is not easy. No one ever said it will be easy even if you look in the bible. But we are human and that is just the way we think. I am a perfect example of that. 


Recently I have had all of these doubts about going to Guatemala. I did not want to go because I wanted to do things the easy way. I wanted to stay in my comfort zone and live in the same life I have always known. I am so tired of change and more change! I want some stability for once in my life, well don't we all, right? Then God spoke to me "what is that burning passion I have given you?" "Have you lost heart?" Then one of my friends wrote this to me 1 minute later ‎"And do not let us grow weary while doing good, but in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." -Galatians 6:9  I knew God was speaking to me then. I had forgotten what I was meant for. What I was made for! What he created me for! 

It is so easy to loose sight of what God has for us. Satan dose that! Lately Satan has been attacking me all the way from Guatemala in huge ways. But you know what brothers and sister I REJOICE because he is threaten by me. I know that there is great work to be done this coming year in Guatemala. God is good!


Please join me in prayer during this time in the states for me. That I will not grow weary, but that i will grow and put on that armor to go out to the nations and bring KINGDOM!! 


Thank you! 

You were Meant for More

As I heard God speaking this words to me "you were meant for more." I realized I was not made to be like everyone else in the world today. I was not meant to have the great career, the best house, nice car, great husband, and family. I was not meant to live the "American Dream." I know God calls us to be radical no matter where we live or do. Sometimes God just blesses us with the typical American dream and you might be content with that, but  it is the way use it! How are you using that success to bless others. You know dam well it is not about is, but God's kingdom! If you think what I just said is wrong then there is some self-centered issues that you need to take to God ( I know I may sound harsh and something may be stirring up inside of you and it is because truth always is hard to hear). God wants us to grow and not stay in the same routine as others christians do (the typical Christian). You are called to be unique and it shows by your actions. How do you represent Christ? (wow that was just a thought)

                                   (Me in the back of a truck in Guatemala)

Getting back to sharing some of my journey with you all. God has called me to live a radical unordinary life and for some people it is hard to understand that. I do choose to live a simple life, hahahaha... Well, to most of you might think, "your life is insane." Yes it could be, but that is the way I choose to live it. I choose to put my health and safety in danger in order to bring kingdom to others world wide. What a calling right? Give up your life and everything you have for others that might not love you back and steal from you. That is what Jesus did for us, right? We are called to be more and more like Jesus. That is our calling on this earth to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those around us. And yes I am talking to you too! uh huh you (pointing my finger at you)!

                                            (Guatemala mountain's)

So let me share this really cool story with you! Well, about 3 months ago I lost my job. Sad I know! Now I don't have a job and let me tell you, what a great time to loose a job, right? So this is a testimony on how God gives and takes away in order to keep us on the right path. So, 3 months ago I had my dream job, I was getting paid really good, and I fell in love with my job. Then one day I told Jesus "I don't want to be a missionary anymore." I was content with what I had and what I was making. So guess what God did he took that job away from me a week later! hahaha God is funny! He had bigger plans for me. I knew I have been called to be a missionary, but I got distracted. If I would of not lost that job I would not be going to Guatemala in August 2011. I would of been caught up in things that God did not have planned for me. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. To tell you the truth I am happy he took that job away because I know I was meant for more! God has given me a gift to be a missionary and a burning passion for people in Guatemala and Africa. Sometimes the distractions can rob us from the true potential God has given us...

                                          (My girls form Guatemala)

Many people ask me how do you do this, live as a missionary in a third world country? Even while on missions trips with these people that is the question they ask me. They say, "how can you stand being sick all the time, not having hot water, and weird food." I really can't explain it but I know that it is all God. I am happy living this way. I have no idea why sometimes! I even surprise myself.

God is calling you to more! Yes you! He is calling you to bigger and greater things then the life you are living now. Maybe it is to help a homeless person out, to support a missionary like me, sponsor a child, or even to be a big brother or sister to someone! I encourage you to stand up to that calling! Rise up brothers and sisters of Christ!

Here is a video if Britt Nicole. The lyrics are amazing. It's called walk on water. It has inspired me to keep going on this journey. Your faith is all it takes:

Voice of a Mountain (documentary).

Voice of a Mountain is a video documentary of the lives of rural Guatemalan coffee farmers who took up arms against their government in a civil war that lasted 36 years. This documentary explores Guatemala's dark history from the perspective of those who saw armed revolution as their only hope for change in a poverty-ridden nation under years of military dictatorship. Ex-combatants talk about the bleak reality of the country that led to their involvement in the war, and the response of genocide from the Guatemalan government against its people. The documentary gives insight into their motives for joining an armed conflict as interviews reveal personal accounts of struggle, hope, tragedy, and the fruits of their resistance.

(This is why my heart goes out to Guatemala)

(1) http://mayomo.com/14796-voice-of-a-mountain-part-1-of-6

(2) http://mayomo.com/14797-voice-of-a-mountain-part-2-of-6

(3) http://mayomo.com/14799-voice-of-a-mountain-part-3-of-6

(4) http://mayomo.com/14800-voice-of-a-mountain-part-4-of-6

(5) http://mayomo.com/14801-voice-of-a-mountain-part-5-of-6

(6) http://mayomo.com/14802-voice-of-a-mountain-part-6-of-6

Turkey Not reached

Turkey has been my favorite country so far. It is an amazing place with beautiful people, great food, and hospitality. But is also a very dark place. There is less then 1% of Christians in Turkey (3,000 people out  of  72 million). 99% are Muslim and some practice the Islamic religion, but a lot of the people I met along the way were atheist. I could see the empty emptiness in their eyes and heart. My heart broke for God's children. I could feel how much God longed to have a relationship with them.As my friends and I would walk the streets I could feel the hunger of this people for something real. But there was no one there to reach all of these people. The harvest was ripe, but there was not many there to bring the gospel. 

 

Let me tell you Turkish guys can be very charming. They are flirts! Sometimes I would get so frustrated because I was hit on everyday and asked on dates. I started to ignore guys while walking down the street. I was at the point where I did not want to even look at then or talk. But, God was like look they are my children and they need me. While in Turkey I was living at a hostel and every morning I would wake up for breakfast  the guys that worked there would say "why are you so beautiful?" Or would always throw me kisses. I would just laugh at them. I did not want them to think I was another American going in there ready to sleep with them or something. So, I was like "you better stop talking to me like that." I wanted to break those thoughts they had so I could be build a relationship with them.

 

So, I became really close to one of the girls that is bartender there and all of the guys that were on staff. I would sit there all night until closing which was like 3am. I would help them clean up the restaurant and serve meals. The girl that was a bartender was from Ecuador and is living with her boyfriend there in Turkey. He is Turkish and practices the Islamic faith. As I got to know Gabriela I was able to tell her that I was a Christian and that I was a missionary. I was able to share my testimony and faith with her. As I was telling her my life story and how God changed my like her eyes got so watery. She told me that there is something missing in her heart before I told her my testimony and I told her it was a relationship with God. That he longed for her and wanted to be there with her. She became a very close friend to me and she shared all of he life stories with me and how she suffered so much in her life. But, in every story God was so evident in everything. I would point it out to her and she would say you are right. I was able to pour God's heart into her. Not my heart, but HIS heart. One day she asked me do you have a Spanish bible with you? I was so excited, but I only had Turkish bibles with me, so I prayed and asked people around to see maybe they would have one and my friend Trish had one. She was collecting bibles from every country, so she gave up that bible to give to Gabriela. I also got a chance to share my faith with her boyfriend... It was amazing!!! God had used me to speak into these peoples lives! 

 

I also became really close to the guys that worked there. They became like my brothers. They would share all of their live stories with me and they would ask me about God. I would sit outside with them for hours telling them how much they are worth and just speaking truth into their lives. Mamoot was a 23 year old guy that was divorced and had 2 children. He has an amazing heart, but you could see the loneliness in him. He lost his family and everything. All he would do is smoke and drink all day to pass the day away.  Speaking life into his life was an amazing opportunity. I know I was just planting the seed, but I know God will finish the work. Please keep him in your prayers. 

Turkey has been on my heart and I am praying that if it is God's will I would like to move there for a couple of years and do full time ministry.  Please keep me in your prayers that God will give me a clear vision of what he wants in my life.