Giving UP!

Lately God has been challenging me in some huge ways. Starting IMPACT 196 (www.therockuniversity.org/impact195/) has changed my life. I don't even know who I am anymore, but I know why because God is molding me to be more like Him everyday. God has broken my heart into beautiful. He has taken the bad and turned it into good. It has been scary, but I am now truly living!

I am giving up on my hopes and dreams! I am done planning my life. I am done having control and how God needs to bless me, or how things should work. I am giving up! To this point I have been planning my life and where God is taking me. I was leaving on a long term trip to Nicaragua this week, but God had different plans and sent me to IMPACT. However, I  was still was planning on leaving to Nicaragua when I was done with the program, and nothing was going to stop me. I had it all planned out, but God has been stripping me away from everything.

During our 3 day worship and fast God told me these 3 words GO, WILL, and OBEDIENT. I was like ok Jesus. I need to go and do your will and be obedient in Nicaragua. "Well I know that God." But he was like "NO" "GO and do what I say,"" do my WILL and not yours," "be OBEDIENT to where I am telling you to go." and me: "I was planning everything all this time and now you are taking this away?" I needed to surrender my hopes and dreams. I have always been striving for what is least all my life, when God has always had something bigger for me!

I am giving up all my hopes and dreams and following God's dreams for me. God has confirmed that I will not be serving out in the missions field alone, but with my beautiful Australian friend Trish. She is on fire for Jesus and us two together are just burning flame! Also, God has been putting Mozambique, Africa in my heart. I have no idea why! But I am in prayer about it. Maybe that is where God is leading me for now, but praying and leaving it in God's hands.

God is so good to us! Blessings!

My faith was crushed

Recently I got accepted to IMPACT 195 through The Rock church university
( http://www.therockuniversity.org/impact195/). Check out what it is about! However,  I wanted to share my journey with you all this week of how I got accepted into this school. This program only takes 60 students a term and I was one of them. The only thing is that is coast $6000 dollars, yikes! That is a lot of mula, right? But I felt a deep calling to this school. Everything that had happened for me to get into this school it could only be God. First, the director gets my call which she dose answer call for applicants. Second, she is the only one in my panel interview then she decides to stand by me through this program. Last of all, God provides $1500 in less then 3 days, and thanks to a lovely person in my life. What more could I as God to confirm? He has confirmed I am meant to be in this program!

I know God is going to do some major surgery in my life. On my last missions trip I was crushed and put back into the USA for not good reason and many others were hurt too. There was a group of us that were sent home because we did not deserve grace. I will share the reasons why I was sent home. One was because I wanted to stay in Africa, but I went over leadership. For me in this time I could not trust leadership because on of my friends was sent home because she "was not growing enough." Without speaking to he she was sent home. I know people make mistakes and I forgive those leaders for what they did to many people. But through that people were hurt and lost faith. People gave up their faith and beliefs. I was one of them! I also fell into depression and everything that comes with that. It was a dark time in my life. I was broken and beaten where I fell down. But through that month God brought me back. It has been over two year that had happened.

However, I know god has so much healing to do in me because of the hurt that was done to me. Ever since I have not had the same faith as I did. Recently at church I have seen people with a huge smile on their faces full of the joy of the lord and His HOPE. I lost that through what happened to me. I want to learn how to trust again and have that faith I had once before. Through this program I will have people that will come beside me to and to mentor me. My walls will be broken! I will learn how to love and be loved again. I come upon this song that I wanted to share with you all called: When Grace Walks in. This song describes where I am now and that Grace is here. God has opened that doors in this school so that Grace will be poured over me.

Please join me in prayer and maybe you would like to help financially to get me through this program. I am still in need of $4500 to complete this program God has called me to. You can call in and give an anonymous donation at : 619.226.ROCK (ex:7625) or send a check.  


God bless you! 


Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QiEfD8CJFU
When Grace Walks in:
You?re standing with your list of regrets that you can?t get past yourself 
You wish so bad that you could make the mark 
But your dreams are stuck on a shelf 
And all you want to do is turn back time 
And redeem the days you lost 
But shame keeps calling out your name 
The chains refuse to fall 

CHORUS: 
But it?s not over, it?s not over 
This is the moment that grace walks in 
With arms wide open, arms wide open 
To tell you this is not the end 
When doubt is strong and your will is weak to even believe again 
That?s when grace, that?s when grace walks in 

You once believed that you could change the world

With a fire deep in your soul 
Your faith was strong and the call was clear 
You were sure you could make a new road 
Like so many, the flame grew dark 
And your confidence hit the wall 
There always seems to be a lot of big questions 
But the answers seem so small 

This is God!

Wow where should I start!! God is so amazing and now I know why he has me here in the States for now. Yes, he has revealed it to me! IMPACT 195 http://www.therockuniversity.org/impact195/ 

IMPACT 195 is a program that equips people to go out into the missions field and also to do some deep spiritual searching of who we are in God. 

How do I know this is God? Well how can I know this is not God LOL. As I walked into the Rock Church yesterday I saw a sign to IMAPCT 195 then I remembered my friend Amanda was telling me about it. Then I walked up to the lady just to ask questions and she prayed for me then she told me here is an application because this program is clearly for you. I looked at her and just felt like God was telling me that. I always told God " I am never going to the Rock Church" "Heck no!"Don't ever make me go there." The only reason I was there yesterday was to see the play my friends directed and played in. As I was sitting in my seat God said "GO!" in a clear voice like I never heard before. I was like this is some crazy S*&%! Then I was like ok God I am going home to apply for this just to see what happens. Then some girl called me while I was at work today but I did not answer. Then when I got home i decided to call just to see. This lady answered my call. She started speaking to me about the program and what it involved and I asked a couple of questions. I told her about Nicaragua and how I want to be equipped before I go into the missions field. But I told he that God keeps telling the word RESTORATION. This whole day he has been haunting me with this word. Then it clicked God wants to restore my heart form what has happened in the past... Then the lady told me well that is what you will get with this program. God confirmed through her that that is where God wanted me. Then when we were done she told me " I am the director of this program." " I never really answer the phone, but for some reason I felt I needed to answer this call." This was God! This is God! My mind was blown away! 

Please continue to pray for me that God will open the doors for me to attend this program. I know if God is calling me he will provide, but without people like you I can't make this happen. Classes start May 10th. I know this is last minute, but the director this is normal and God works through this. I need to raise $6000 in order to do this program. But I know God wants me to do this before I head to Nicaragua. I need that restoration and to be equipped to be my best for God's kingdom. Please pray with me through this and please let me know your thoughts.


IT IS TIME FOR HEALING AND RESTORATION before I leave to Nicaragua! AMEN!

Check out the video for IMPACT 195: 

God bless you all! 

Oh my GOSH!

I have never been so sure about doing something my whole life. I have never been so excited to do something! Words can't even describe what I am about to do! 

Matthew 10

God calls us to leave everything behind and go out and bring kingdom to the nations. 

Is everyone called to do this? 

NO! 

He has called each one of us to different callings for his kingdom. Mine is to be a missionary in Nicaragua long term. Maybe 2 year or even 20 years! 

I really don't know how long, but I do know he is sending me to Africa long term too but a long ways from now. God has so much to teach me before I can even head to Africa. 

I am leaving everything I have ever known behind. It can be scary, but I know I am doing what God has called me. I am selling everything I have to pay off all my bills and be debt free when I leave. As of now I want to live like it was my last day here on earth. I want to give it my all, live it to the fullest, and take every risk I can. I am going to trust God with all of my life. 

I won't live in fear anymore of "what if?"

I am FREE! 

Vision:

God has given me a dream about what I will be doing in Nicaragua.
My friend and I will be starting an orphanage/ center. 

Discipleship  youth

Build relationships

Church ministry

Love

When: 

3 months from now! 

How: 

Through faithful servants for God's kingdom 

(Donations)

Faith<3

Please continue to join me in prayer over these three months <3 

God is going to do some amazing things! 

This is Nicaragua (video)

A calling to Nicaragua

I have decided to do a video blog on how God has called me to Nicaragua. Hope you enjoy!

Doing God's will

As I sit here in the airport with tears falling from my face. I don't even know why I cry? But then I realized I have a burning passion for missions and reaching God's children in other countries. Many people don't understand that calling because only few are chosen to be missionary's. God has called each one of us to many different things because we are the body of Christ and one can not work with out the other one. We all build up the body of Christ. I can give you a description of how it feels to leave a country, for example, like when you leave home for the first time and leave everything you have ever loved. That is how is how I felt when I left Nicaragua this time.

In my past missionary work I have fallen in love with many countries and have felt called to those countries, but doors have closed. Some people may say to me "you change your mind all the time." But you know what I am searching for God's will in my life and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Sometimes we just have to walk in faith that maybe it will happen and if dose not then we should pick ourselves back up and try again because all that Satan wants is for us to give up! Don't ever give him the honor.

Awhile back before I got to Nicaragua God gave me a dream of an orphanage, but it was a ranch with horses and animals in Nicaragua. I never really ever dream and when I do it is God. Then a day later I called my friend Rachel and told her I had this dream and she told me that her sister and her were talking about doing something like that in Nicaragua. Now that just tells you that is GOD all right there! Then a couple of days later I had another dream about it. It was a couple of days before I left to Nicaragua. Also, to remind you I was not going to go to Nicaragua because there was so much going on and I did not have the funds to do it. But God put a huge burden in my heart to go. He put that burning desire that I had to go and I booked my ticket last minute. It was the best thing I have ever done! I know God has called me to something bigger and the beginning is in this country. The nation of Nicaragua!

To tell you the truth I can not even write everything in this blog of what God did though me and others! OMG!! God moved in Nicaragua and through me! People were encouraged, freed for the first time, loved, were freed from demons, etc...It was for me as well I was able to grow in so many ways and learn to truly love God with all of my heart more then I have ever had. God broke me! I laughed, I cried, I fell to my knees, I loved, I hugged, I encouraged, but all for God's kingdom.!

I hope to tell you all may stories of the people I met along the way that God transformed through his might power. HE is AMAZING!