Walking in my Shoes

As I sit in a crack house, my heart is heavy while seeing the faces who have lost hope, and lost their value in the midst of wounds, a hurt that has never healed. I look around, I am reminded of such grace upon my life to be in a place most people wont go, or will be invited to. Then in the center of my thoughts, I feel squeeze from one of my favorite children, I am greeted with a smile. I look deep into his eyes, of worry where food will come from next, or if he will reach his dreams one day. In that moment, I see God showing me why He has brought me into a dark place, to be a glimpse of light and His love.

Walking in my shoes, seems to be an easy walk to most people, visually.  However it is easy when I invite God to be my strength, in the midst of a broken world. God never said it would be easy, or that we will feel much better of ourselves. Most of my days are spent crying out to God, because my heart if overwhelmed, and in need of God's love for me, to love these kids, to shine His light in these dark place, or when one of my kids decides to take a step down, I in no way can do anything with out His grace in my life, as He helps me push through the days.

Simply, my life is not easy but I would not do it any other way. My life is not my own, but to bring glory to God, so that many will see that they have value, in this broken world, to know His love, to be built up for His kingdom, and to know His grace. I am just a servant with nothing special about me, but that my life is God's. I will continue to live this way until I can no longer breath. I will continue to pick up my cross and follow God, because I belong to Him. Who do you belong to? 

The Struggle is REAL

4 months ago I felt a calling to move and serve at an orphanage called La Tribu in Tijuana, Mexico. Never in my craziest dreams did I think I would fall this deep in love with these kids, never did I think I would become a mom to them, never did I think I would be meeting many of their needs physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I never thought I would be this deep in!

The orphanage for the past 14 years has been run by a very special women named Edith with a HUGE heart for these kids, but even with a huge heart to do this work there has been a lack of structure and recourses for these precious children. Many of the kids at the orphanage have never been to school or know how to read because it has never been a choice for them due to different circumstances. As some of you might not know that many of these children come from abused backgrounds, drugs, and neglect. Another issue is that these kids were kicked out of school because of their conduct due to anger they carry from the past. Many people would come and go from this orphanage because the lack of structure and not enough staff to meet the needs of the children. Everyone would give up on them and it built more deep wounds in these kids hearts.  However, the messiness did not scare me, but motivated me more to completely lay down my life to serve in a different level that I have never served before. 

Everyday my heart is overwhelmed by the needs I can not meet... Sometimes there is no gas to fill the van to take the kids to school, there is not enough food, no uniforms for school (so the kids get made fun of because they are the poor ones), no water, no electricity, no basic needs, and the list goes on... I see the everyday struggle to keep these 80 kids alive and what a sacrifice it is! My heart is heavy everyday as I cry out to God for these children asking that He will provide every need not just physically but spiritually. Then I see God's hand upon every situation and the way He takes care of His children and He has never let them down. 

Even as my day starts at 6am every day and ends until midnight because these kids are my world I could not feel more honored then to serve these precious babies. There is days I feel like giving up, when I feel I have no strength, and that I am not enough, but I know God has called me to completely lay down my life for these children, to do things right because no one has ever done things right for them, this is so that they know they have value and are worthy. Yes, meeting the needs of 80 children individually  is overwhelming, but so beautiful to see these babies flourish for the first time in their 

lives. 

Moving on, I want to share this powerful testimony of one of my teen boys. This boy came into the orphanage because this was the last place that would take him. He had been kicked out of every orphanage because of his conduct and drug use.  When I first saw him he looked at me with eyes of hate and would not talk to me... But somehow I  knew he thought I would also give up on him like everyone in his life has. Everyday he was in trouble at the orphanage because he would not follow the rules. Then one day I decided to sit next to him and tell him you were created with a purpose and your life is precious. He looked at me confused with watery eyes and I gave him a hug then walked away. Those words were so powerful for him to hear because so many times he has been told he is trash and would never do anything with his life. Now he is one of the most behaved teen boys and he is eager to study at school. This is just one of the many stories that happen everyday of transformation for these kids.  I wish I could share them all in one sentence however, it's so beautiful the work God is doing here and now.  

Thank you to all of you who make this possible. 

Also want to invite you to partner with me through this ministry as my goal each month is $1000 in order to provide immediate needs for these kids and also living expenses for me to stay. If you would live to give a monthly donation or one time click here: https://www.youcaring.com/project-f…/moving-to-mexico/344777

Thank you and love you all! 

Not alone

To be honest there is days all I want to do is cry and I do because I completely feel alone with the work I am doing here in Mexico (I know God is with me). Everyday I have obstacles and people that fight against what I am doing, however that has not stopped me to be a voice for these kids. I fight and fight for them so that they will have a better future, so that they will know that they are valuable. If no one does then no one else will... God has called me to see theses precious children succeed and so that they will know they are not the trash people said they were, or  useless as it has been spoken many times to them. 

However, the greatest reward is to see theses kids smile again and for them to finally believe that they have a future. That they are worth it and that they are worth fighting for! When I first came into the orphanage the kids would tell me why should I even try in school if I have no future, who will pay my tuition, university, and materials? Their mentality was to quit school and get a job because there was no one that believed in them. Now 3 months later as you sit with them and ask them what they want to do, they will share their hopes and dreams of becoming something. 

God says that He is the light and I have seen it first hand in a dark place... There is light, a light of HOPE, that only comes from Jesus Christ. Theses kids for the first time in years have a chance to live life and to know that their lives matter. 

#Unity4Orphans 

 

NEW

Today I was reflecting on this year on returning from living in India to joining a new ministry, I realized more and more that His was are not our ways.

Missions has always been a burning desire and passion I have had since I became a Christian 10 years ago. For me my ideal dream as a follower was living out of a backpack for the rest of my life and traveling the world to make His name known (I know I'm a bit of a gypsy). So I pretty much did that for the past 6 years of my walk with the Lord. However, God kept redirecting my steps, but I know no time was wasted as every experience was to build my character to the destiny God had called me to.

Returning from India God made if very clear that He was doing a "new thing." First He had me go to a new church which was terrifying and to step into a whole new ministry, woah lots of change! To tell you the truth it was not easy because I was comfortable where I was, so I ran like Jonah for a couple of months. Then I kept running like Jonah from the new ministry God has called me to because it was not what I wanted it to look like. In my mind it needed to look like what my plans were not working with orphans... So, He brought people to come and talk to me randomly out of no where. Even before they would talk I would say " don't even tell me you came to tell me about the orphanage? " Seriously God has a sense of humor, he did create humor!

Then I finally surrendered and told God I would do anything He asks me to do. He told me that I was moving to the orphanage in Mexico in June I said "yes!" I was even willing to go alone and was planning to do it all by myself. But without sharing or even asking people to come help He brought people that were 150% committed to carry on this vision He put on my heart. I did not even have to try God was the one opening the doors and bringing the people He has called to this. I now have the most incredible team!

Then today while looking at my journal I found this page where God was speaking to me during my prayer time and it was talking about the orphanage how I will be serving and loving the chosen not the abandoned, but the CHOSEN and ADOPTED by Him. What an honor! Also on the other side was a picture I drew a couple years back and it said CHOSEN and ADOPTED, wow! Sometimes I just draw things that come to mind and this was so appropriate hahaha...

It's such a sweet gift from the Lord to be lead by Him and knowing His voice. He always wants to give us good gifts but we have to be willing to do what is uncomfortable, not easy, and sometimes it not what we had in mind. But we can TRUST Him because He always knows best wink emoticon He has truly given me His best and working now with the people I work within ministry has been the biggest gift. It's amazing!

His pure LOVE

After a long day today @ the Mexico orphanage and taking care of various tasks my day just got more interesting. As I arrived at the younger kids house I settled into the room where I was spending the night, then all the younger girls all came into my room to invite me to see a movie. I hesitantly dragged my feet with tiredness, however still with joy in my heart to spend time with theses kids. When I got to the second level where the movie was I came across a little boy. He was kicking the other kids and punching them. My natural reaction was to discipline and tell him to stop, but he would not listen! To tell you the truth I was a bit frustrated.

However, as I stopped and looked at him I saw a deep pain in his eyes and just not a pain but sadness. As I tried to grab him he spitted a candy at my face, but I knew I should not react. I sat him down next to me and tried to ask him why he was being so disruptive? He just kept pretending he was not listening me and closed his eyes.

Something in me knew that he was acting this way because he was sad. As I looked at him I said what is your name? He replied Isaiah and I started to share that his name was in the bible and how God used Isaiah in a powerful way. Finally, I started to get his attention. Then I asked if he was sad and he said "yes" because his mom left him at the orphanage and had promised to come back but never did.

I gave him a hug and told him he is never alone and that God loved him. He replied by nodding his head in agreement. I gave him a kiss on the forehead telling him I love him and that I believe in him to do great things.

It was incredible to see his attitude change and he just sat on my lap giving me hugs as I embraced him. Today taught me that love changes even the hardest of kids. Also we sometimes don't know why people or kids act they way they do. Sometimes it's all the pain and hurt they have gone through but overall it's love that changes all, God's pure LOVE.

 ‪#‎unity4orphans‬

A life Surrendered

"Surrender!" But what do you mean God? I would say. I was 19 years old and addicted to drugs and was getting married to the love of my life. I was living my life the way I wanted and in no way I was going to surrender the life I was living. As the days went by I felt empty and with no hope. All I could feel and see was darkness as I was sinking in deeper to the wounds that I thought would never heal. In my heart I was desperate for a savior and longing to be freed from the mediocre life I was living. As my life took a turn for the worst where I almost lost my life, as I took my last breath, I said "Lord give me a second chance." As I grasped for air I could feel His hand giving me life once again, as I was pulled back I saw and light and He said. "You are a light."

As I surrendered all I was reminded that God had implanted a dream long before I knew him to travel the world. But at 19 years old I had not traveled anywhere. I have not even been on a plane before! That dream was meant to glorify Him, so at 21 I took my first missions trip to Guatemala where the Lord spoke to me "this is what I made you for." I knew deep down in my soul that God was calling me to the nations. Ever since that day I began to travel to bring hope and the gospel to many nations (40 different countries to this day). I have witnessed thousands give their lives to the lord, I have seen miracles, planted churches around the world, made disciples, etc... However, the greatest transformation has been my life to see Him heal my wounds, giving me my true identity, taught me to love again, and understanding that I am a child of God was worth surrendering it all.

When God asks us to surrender our lives it is really not to lose it but to gain it. God has something so wonderful for each one of us, but we are fearful of losing what we think is good and in reality we are getting something greater when we surrender. You are precious to Him and He wants to use you to be a light to many. heart emoticon

Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.- Matthew 10:39

LOVE changes all...

Brian was brought to La Tribu de Jesus orphanage when he was 6 years old and now is 16 years old. He was rescued out of a home that was abusive, had a mom that was a prostitute, and for most of his 6 years he was left alone. He has lived such a hard life that I can not tell you all about to protect him, but seeing the restoration in his life reminds me that there is a God that heals. Seeing him smile and his eyes glow when he passionately speaks about what he wants to do when he graduates high school, reminds me that there is HOPE, and that LOVE changes people.

As I took him to visit his mom for the first time in a year I could see the pain in his eyes because he does not have a great relationship with her, but he said that he hopes one day that relationship would be restored. Then as the conversation went on he told me that one of his greatest desires in to be a solder in the military and to learn English one day. However, because of his past decisions to do drugs and run away from the orphanage he was behind in school and that reaching those dreams will be harder. As I looked at him I said "I see so much potential in you and I know you will reach those dreams and when it gets hard keep trying! Never give up!" He looked at me as if those words were foreign. In that moment I knew that Brian was not the abandon orphan but CHOSEN, WANTED, ADOPTED.... His life is so precious and valuable, not because I felt sorry for him, or because he needed anyone to pitty him, but because he is God's child, His father is a king.  

This week I have been in Mexico for the past two days which were very memorable & heart-wrenching as one day Brian was struggling because of his past and was at a very hard point of his live. Brian was caught between the desires of this world and in his heart was bitterness, hatred, and no hope because of what he had gone through. But,

Brain was not alone he has a family now in La Tribu... So all of the teen boys gathered around him, embraced him with hugs, prayed for him, and said "we love you." To see all of these boys that come from the streets show that deep love to one another reminded me of God's unconditional love for us.

This why I do what I do. To see lives transformed and restored. This is the greater work 

‪#‎unity4orphans‬